War is Hell

War is hell. There is no two ways about it.

Some of my favorite war films are:

• Saving Private Ryan
• Blackhawk Down
• Band of Brothers
• Dirty Dozen
• Patton
• Lone Survivor
• American Sniper

Netflix now knows I love war movies!

It amazes me the dedication that is depicted in these movies. Men willing to take bullets for others. Men purposely getting in harms way to do the things asked of them. Combat medics willing to run with their weapons lowered to quickly assess and care for the wounded are particularly awesome. In another life this is what I would have wanted to be after being a pilot and an astronaut. I don't enjoy blood and guts (though as an EMT right after my mission I saw some but NOTHING like war) but the ability to help in seconds is awesome. I love emergency medicine on every level but especially as the scene unfolds. There is a reason my "small" first aid kit is always rather large.

The character Hoot says in Blackhawk Down when asked why he returned from the Mogadishu Mile* run, quickly reloaded and was returning to fight and find his brothers:

"There’s still men out there. … When I go home people’ll ask me, ‘Hey Hoot, why do you do it, man? Why, you some kinda war junkie?’ I won’t say a word. Why? They won’t understand. They won’t understand why we do it. They won’t understand that it’s about the men next to you, and that’s it. That’s all it is."

What happened surround the The Battle of Mogadishu is a wonderful example of horrible leadership that was out-shown by great servant soldiers. Sometimes leadership just gets in the way. The reason this incident wasn't worst was because of the grunts on the ground were thinking with their heads. They improvised, adapted and overcame. They took their crappy situation and just found a way to succeed even limiting casualties. 19 men lost their lives that day. Men who should never, EVER be forgotten. That being said it could have been a lot worst. There is something inbred into Americans. We don't die easy and we don't die quick. Our soldiers especially.

*Read about the Mogadishu Mile by clicking the link (there is even a Goruck event based off of it). I will withhold most of what I think other than to say men left behind who were using UN vehicles for cover is a gross breach of responsibility by all levels of leadership. You don't leave people behind. EVER!

#BestAdvice

On Twitter, a member of the #twitterstake asked what the #BestAvice for someone in your calling would be.  Here are mine:

• Scout leaders: Get trained quick as possible and don't think training is beneath you Lean not unto your understanding #BestAdvice
• Scout leaders: Have fun. This is ur chance to be a boy again only you have experience of making mistakes in the past. #BestAdvice
• Scout leaders: Relationships are better than merit badges towards Eagle. Minister instead of administer. #BestAdvice
• Scout leader: Boy run means boy run. It will never go the way they plan it. That is OK. They take ownership that way. #BestAdvice

What would you add??

My Scouting Legacy...........

I started this post a bunch of times.  Like a million times!!  I know what I want to say.....I think........I think but I don't know how to put it into a post.

My biggest concern as a leader is someone coming to me later and saying "You should have done this to help me" or "You had no clue what you were doing and that hindered me".  I can see clearly that two leaders who served before I did who lost two boys records and they did not achieve Eagle because of it.  I hold myself to a much higher standard than I do anyone else.  I mean really high almost to a fault.  I wish I were perfect.

So, what has been my Scouting legacy?

I am fully trained.  I look for further opportunities to be trained.  It is only through training that I reach my full potential.

I am training my boys to lead.  It is hard at time when they don't show up but I am sure trying to turn the program over to them.

I am leaving a legacy.

More serious or a joker

I thought I had a pretty fun, light, joking personality..............until a conversation with my wife and my Scouts.

I was on the way to my wife's work Christmas Party when I asked if I joked around with her too much.  She told me that I used to joke a lot more than I do but I have gotten more serious.  I didn't know how to take this.  I love to joke and tease (lighthearted and never to really embarrass or mock anyone).  And I can take joking and teasing back.  I take a good share from my friends especially from our Scoutmaster and our Bishop (our Charter Organization Rep). 

So today I shared my conversation that I had with my wife with my Scouts.  And they agreed.  I was shocked.  They said I used to joke and kid and be more like them when I was first called into Scouts.  I know I take my calling serious.  I really do.........but I wonder where I have lost my "love of life".  I wonder if I have lost the zest for life.

Maybe old age has make me more serious.  Maybe the worries of the world have sobered me up.  Maybe I no longer spit the first thing that comes to my mind out and get in trouble.  Maybe I am censoring myself more.  Maybe I just see what Scouting can do for the Scout and for me.

Winging it

Leaders who think they can wing it without reading the handbook (BSA or Church) or getting trained and then think the Spirit will "teach them all things" to do in the moment they need them, don't understand the scriptures.

Idiot Scout leaders are really just idiot wanna-be-men

I am sure you know which ones I am talking about.  Read here if you don't.  

I don't mean to sound judgmental (or maybe I do), but these guys are idiots.  I seriously can't believe these leaders were cheering and happy about what they were doing.  What a horrible example these wanna-be-men-leaders are for their Scouts!  What a joke!  Ban these men from Scouting for life!  I don't want to be associated with them EVER!  The icing on the cake is posting this video on Youtube.  

The Rescue of Roger Locher

The Volun-told Scouter shared the story of the rescue of Roger Locher at his website.  GREAT STORY!!

23 days in captivity!  It is a miracle this guy survived!

Youth Lead - LDS Style - LET THEM LEAD!

One of my Scouts made a comment to me recently about a Stake wide youth activity.  He said "I don't understand why we plan one thing on the Stake Youth Committee and then the adults change it.  Why even involve me?"

I think this is a classic burn on adults who "say one thing but doing another" when it comes to youth leadership.  You cannot be two faced about this with youth or you loose total respect from them!  Why would a young man or young woman want to take time out of their busy schedule to travel to the Stake Center once a month to plan an activity (or activities) to have their effort thrown out so easily by adults who appear to have the attitude of "we know better"?

LET THEM LEAD!!!  Let them lead for crying out loud.  These are the Church's leaders of tomorrow and instead of letting them plan and implement for better or worse, we let them "fake lead" and then do things behind their back.  Talk about a lack of trust.  We as leaders of this Church with great youth have got to do a better job at teaching them how to lead and then stepping back and actually letting them lead!

Let them lead!!!

LET THEM LEAD!!!

LET THEM LEAD!!!

As a small side note, the Bishopric asked my Teacher's Quorum President to do a service project  (I know you are going to hate this but I didn't attend due to my son's football game!  Don't kill me!) and yesterday this boy along with his awesome dad planned and implemented this whole service project (with the Troop and Crew) without so much as a word of advice from me.  Talk about a learning experience for this boy - letting him lead with his dad giving him advice.  I was even told the boy handed out assignments and everyone was always busy.  What a bonding experience for this boy and his father!!  Three cheers for a Dad who would let his son lead!

A Varsity Coach's dream!!

Today's Young Men Need Righteous Role Models - Ensign Sept 2013 Page 24

There is a great article in this month's Ensign regarding good role models for the young men of our Church (and probably everywhere!).  I think this greatly includes their Scout leaders as we fit dual roles as their Church leaders and their Scout leaders.  I want to share a few quotes that stood out to me:

"It is important to have shared experiences with the youth so you are  on the same playing field. Instead of standing on the sidelines, you need to actively participate.  There is real power in shared experiences.  All members should be engaged with youth, regardless of their calling."

"Adolescence is [when individuals] develop a sense of personal identity: values, beliefs, roles, etc.  That is an exploratory process.  Part of the process is getting feedback from peers or parents or other adults and it can be really powerful if it is a respected and valued adult." 

"The reason why I had such success with these boys is that they knew I absolutely loved them, " Brother Sylvester said.  "They knew it--not because I said it but because I acted it.  I really focused on their having a relationship with their Savior.  I just felt that was the key for them to get through everything and to move forward in life and be successful."

I totally agree with the first one and to be honest have been told by other adults and other adult leaders that I shouldn't play basketball, play frisbee, go to their football games, go to their soccer games, make a quick appearance at a birthday party when invited, etc. because there needs to a "separation" between me and my boys.  How do boys know you care?  It is spell T-I-M-E.

Our second key relationship is with our families. Since “no other success can compensate for failure”  here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e,time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship. - Of Things That Matter Most, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2010.

 

 Make no mistake, I know I am not replacing Mom or Dad.  Their role is primary and more important than mine but my role is a support one.  I support the boy, support Mom and Dad and encourage the boy to go to Mom and Dad when they don't feel like they can.

Leadership - Quiet vs. Vocal and Everything In Between

I love the champion of the little man!  These are the kids, Scouts and Church youth leaders who will stop others from picking on others.  They see differences in people and they celebrate them instead of exploit them.  I had one of those Scouts who would put himself between himself and the bully and it didn't matter what size the bully was.  He was consoling   He was a defender of those who were different.  He was quiet most of the time but vocal when the time required it.  Is he a leader?

My Varsity Captain at times says to the Team "You don't get a say.  I am the boss.  I am running a dictatorship."  It drives me nuts and I think it is a horrible thing to say.  I often tell him "Do you hear me say that as an adult leader?  Do you hear our Bishop say that from the stand on Sunday at Church?"  I never correct him in front of the group.  I think that would undermine the real and true authority he has.  Is my Varsity Captain a leader?  (As a small side note, while my Captain is saying this I believe this is my fault.  The reason?  I don't think I have trained him well enough.  I am trying.)

What about the kid that doesn't say much of anything?  He just appears to follow the crowd and do what they say.  Is he a leader?

What about the rebel?  Is he a leader?

So the questions are:  Does a leader have to be vocal?  Can a leader be a quiet guy?  What about a guy that carefully picks his times to say something?  Can a leader say nothing at all?  Is a leader a leader 100% of the time in every situation?

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend my son's middle school athletics breakfast.  They handed out awards to kids from each of the sports.  My son played football and basketball.  He has never played these sports before other than pick up or in the backyard with me.  He didn't have a lot of experience playing these sports so he usually was very quiet and listen to advice of others.  He didn't win any awards (though I was hoping and praying) and I had a conversation with him today about what being a leader is and why awards are not important.

My conversation with him went something like this:

There are a lot of different types of leaders.  There are those who are vocal and those who provide an example.  Then there are those leaders all in between the two.  You are more of a quiet leader.  You don't start drama.  You offer solutions when there are problems.  You are your teammates cheerleader.  Winning an award doesn't make you great and it certainly doesn't make you bad.  I am proud of you for being who you are for the good and the bad.  You are not fake!    You are happy to play even if you don't make the big play.  You just want to be a part of the team.  Your grades are high and your work ethic is getting stronger.  You are not afraid to do hard things.  I love you and I am proud of you.  Awards are great but knowing you did the best you can, is much, much better.  A leader just quietly does what he should.

My son - At 14.5, he is almost 6' 2" and 180# yet he is a gentle giant.  I saw him knock a kid down hard and even before the play was over try to help him stand back up.  If he ever unleashed his evil side to play sports, he will be unstoppable.  He spent part of the time on the bench but moved from B Team in football, where he was playing every play, to A Team.  He struggled with the decision to move because he just wanted to play and he wasn't going to be getting a lot of playing time on A Team.  He played B Team basketball and sat the bench a lot the first few games but his skill increased immensely and played most of each game after that.  When his basketball team lost 8 players due to academic issues (failing grades) he played even more.  He was an AWESOME cheerleader for his team.  He was the first guy up to greet his team when they came off the field or court.  This is one of my most proudest moments.  He is a team player.  He GPA is high even thought his is in AP classes, deals with a NON-nuclear family and blended family and the kid reads a book in under 48 hours.  He is a bit socially "weird" (he gets that from me) due to the fact that he tries to be funny to gain friends.  He isn't the strongest and isn't the fastest but he is my son*!  And I love him.  And he is a leader in my home.  Most of the time a great leader; sometimes he falls short.

Conclusion:  You can lead from anywhere.  You don't have to wear a title to lead.  Depending on where you lead from though depends on how you lead.  If you are a "follower" of a leader, you can lead by giving suggestions, setting a great example or just doing what you are told.  You can also lead in some situations by asking questions.  

I like two types of leaders mostly - quiet, follow my example kind of leaders and those who rarely speak words but use their actions to lead.  (Maybe those are the same.)  Expecting a boy to lead 100% of the time is rare but it is out there.  Boy leaders should be making mistakes and learning from them.  Some leaders who are vocal, I deem as fake.  Some I deem as real.  A leader can show fear but still will do what they are supposed to.  

After thought...........

I was a cheerleader as a senior in high school and I always got razzed because people told me cheerleading wasn't a sport.  And I would defend it until yesterday.  While each sport handed out 4 awards (most improved, MVP defense, MVP offense and MVP) cheer-leading handed out awards to each of the 15 girls.  My son shook his head as each girl was called up.

And as proof.............

* I am not bias at all!!  :)

She is blind but she can see

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Tenure

Could you imagine being a Scout leader for 60 years?  Could you even begin to imagine how much influence you could have after 60 years?  60 years!!!  I read this story and though about all the young men Coach Gagliardi had.  He was innovative by not using a whistle, putting players before practice in bad weather and not tackling during practices   And is the mosquitoes were too bad, he cancelled practice.  And because of this he was the most winning coach in NCAA history.

Does it matter that he coached at a Division III school?  No.
Does it matter that he only had 4 national titles in 60+ years at a Division III school?  No.
Does it matter that he has had roughly 500 wins?  No.

His biggest concerns was his players.  And our Scouts should be for us.  A wise Bishopric Counselor told me one "Worry more about ministering than administering your boys."

Wouldn't it be great if we were Scout leaders for 60 years and had such a huge influence on Scouts like Coach Gagliardi did?  It would be great!!!

Attitude by Evenspor

Great blog by Evenspor about Attitude.

Mormon Mentality - Don't do a good job because you are a volunteer.

I found this in a Mormon blog I follow on occasion and this story fits most Mormon Scouters to a "t".

Being the forgiving/forgetful type, it didn’t take long for me to let go of the trauma of my winter adventure. That lasted until I went to the official summer girls’ camp later that year and talked to the other leaders. Someone mentioned how they didn’t go on the winter time camp training and how they thought it was silly, anyway. What would camping in the winter do to prepare you for tornados, mosquitoes and heat rash in the summer? I protested, “But it was MANDATORY training! You had to go or you wouldn’t be allowed to attend the summer session!” One woman (who later became my dearest friend and Life Mentor because of her reply) scoffed, “Yeah. Like what are they gonna do, fire me? We are v-o-l-u-n-t-e-r-s. They are just grateful I agreed to do this at all.”

This mentality will forever be our downfall.  Either do a good job or don't do the job (and don't accept the calling). Your selective decision to do some things and not do others shows that your heart, might, mind and strength is not truly doing what the Lord asks of us.  Doing a half-job will get us no reward.

Being a volunteer doesn't remove our obligation to do the best we can even if we can't be fired.

You are a true Boy Scout

A member of my congregation called me stating that her car wouldn't start and wondered if I could come over to help jump her car.  I work from home and I home school one of my kids (this will probably only last this year only).  This family and mine share a ton of similarities including blending.  I HT them for a long time and was a mediocre HTer.

I went over, pushed her car out of her garage to line it up with my car and jumped her car.  Her kids had been in the car waiting to go get hair cuts and were all sweaty.  I got her up and running quickly and told her if she had problems until her husband came home to give me a call.

Later that day she placed this comment on my Facebook page:  "You are true Boy Scout sir!"

Are we as adult leaders just leaders or are we also Boy Scouts?

Scouting is so important that the very best man in an LDS ward should be the Scoutmaster. - Bishop Bradley Harris  

"Third, I encourage local priesthood leaders to call to service as Aaronic Priesthood advisers men [President Monson includes Scoutmasters in here in this article] who are models for the young men to follow. A returned missionary, fresh from the mission field, blossoming with testimony, is often such a model. A young Aaronic Priesthood holder can say, “That’s the type of man I want to follow.”...............We are setting an example, through that Aaronic Priesthood adviser. Let us make certain he is a role model worthy of emulation." - Seven Steps to Success with Aaronic Priesthood Youth, Ensign Feb. 1985 

Compitition

Scout Camp vs. Asthma Camp.........  Pretty simple decision if it were my kid.

High Adventure vs. Band Camp........  Another pretty simple decision for me.

Scouting is very important in my eyes and especially getting into the outdoors.  The outdoors puts the sparkle into the Scouting program.  It is a classroom without walls and is a laboratory for fun Scouting experiences.  The outdoors strips away the cell phones, the TVs, the game consoles and other distractions this busy world uses to get the attention of the boy.  An outdoor experience stimulates good citizenship through teamwork and opportunities for leadership.  It emphasizes spirituality by bringing young people closer to nature. It connects individuals to the land, helping them develop a bond of respect for, and stewardship of, wild places and wild things.

June 2012 Ensign Page 46

If Mormon's don't get Scouting, it isn't because the Church isn't trying to help them get it.  Here are some great quotes from the article by David L. Beck.

Scouting is one way to help prepare our young men to do hard things, such as serve as faithful full-time missionaries.

..........................................................

Scouting's outdoor program is part of its message of self-reliance but it's more than that.  It's a relationship-building program in which young men work with each other and with their advisers, doing things that stretch them physically and emotionally.  It puts them in contact with nature, freeing them from the distractions of a world that is growing increasingly noisy.  And it allows them an opportunity to commune with the Spirit and to reflect upon their lives and their relationship, including their relationship with Deity.   

............................................................

 “If any man among you be strong in the Spirit,” the Lord tells us, “let him take with him him that is weak, that he may be edified in all meekness, that he may become strong also” (D&C 84:106).  If there ever were a time when our young men needed to associate with adult advisers who are strong in the Spirit, that time is now. As leaders of young men, we have the blessing of working with them during the time that they transition from childhood to adulthood. It is a time fraught with temptations and challenges. What a great privilege and an awesome responsibility we have.  Young men need to be guided, motivated, and strengthened by those who are strong in the Spirit. They need to discover through spiritual experiences the intrinsic motivation of being a disciple of Christ—to taste for themselves the fruits of the gospel and of the Spirit.  Young men need to know that their leaders are men of God who can be trusted, who truly care about them, and who take seriously their Scout callings. Trusted leaders can become a powerful resource to help and bless young men.  To “edify in meekness” means to build up in meekness. A meek man edifies young men with patience, gentleness, and an absolute commitment to do God’s will. Confidence and trust are built in young men when they feel that their leaders have the Spirit of the Lord with them.

A LDS Scout isn't getting what he should..........

What would you do if a LDS Scout:

• Isn't getting a trained unit leader like he should?
• Doesn't like the unit?  Or the unit leaders?

Often in Scouting we discuss shopping units.  Finding a unit that best fits a boy.  It seems somewhat more complicated when we discuss the issue that LDS Scouts are assigned their units and don't get to pick or shop.  There are some out there that kick against tradition and actually go to community Troops, Teams and Crews.  I am actually OK with that.  A Scout shouldn't have to suffer because of a poor unit or poor adult leadership.  This is a direct reflection of the Charter and the Chartering Organization Rep.  If there are not good people picking the BEST people to put into Scouting adult leadership, there continues to be a problem within the unit. I wonder if we "hurt" a boy by telling him to just ride the wave of a poor unit for a long time.  We should not jump at every complaint but when there is a clear issue, what is the solution?

If a boy came to you and expressed that their unit wasn't cutting it for him, what would you suggest?

Burn Out - Part II

I think I am past the desire to be released as a Scout leader.  Granted I still feel alone even with a new leader.

Recently the Scout leaders and our families had a dinner date.  We ate and watched Follow Me Boys.  It was a great reminder what Scouting is about - the boys.  It doesn't matter what my frustration level is due to leaders.  I need to focus on the boys more.  To be honest, I will never get the parade that Lem got.  Ever.  It would be great though if I had parents and Church leaders telling me I did a good job when I am not telling them I want to be done with Scouting.  I think I am a pretty humble guy but apparently not enough.  I like to know I am doing a good job.  (My promise is that if I ever serve in a leadership position at Church, I will show my gratitude for my youth leaders/ministers/Scout leaders.)

As I sat at Wood Badge during a presentation about change, I again realized how much I hate change.  I am not ready for it and I sure as heck don't like it when it happens.  Especially when I feel like I am told I am "such a good leader" that having a new leader won't effect me.  That is not true at all!  I need help just like the next guy no matter how good (or bad) I am.  And I need to be more willing to live through change.  I am so for thinking outside the box yet I don't understand why I hate change so much.

From this I have decided to do a 360 Assessment.  I am sure feedback will be limited but my hope is that maybe I can gain something from it.  I know I don't know it all.  Maybe this will give me some insight.

Burn Out

Obviously this applies to me right now but:

How would your recommend that a Scout leader not get burnt out?

I think this might be helpful to others as well.