Dentist Appointment

A couple Sundays ago I was asked by a parent to take their son to a dentist appointment.  Mom had a work meeting and the Dad had a job interview.  I thought it was a weird request but agreed because the boy is less active lately and has stopped coming to Scouts and Church.  I also work from home and have tons of vacation so I didn't mind doing it.

This boy has stopped coming to Church because he feels like his parents force him to come.  His parents finally stopped fighting and let him stop coming.  The same happened with his Scouting.  He stopped coming.

The conversation was light but there was conversation.  He doesn't normally say a lot but we talked all the way to the dentists and then all the way to school.  He is a good kid.  He has just fooled himself that he isn't a good kid.  He is the closest to Eagle than any boy in our Troop, Team or Crew.  He told me he continued to re-work his Eagle Project.  So I need to get his adviser involved and play some role in helping him along!

Have you ever tired to eat a whale?

Have you ever tried to eat a whale?  The Volun-told Blog tells you how!!

Service Project

I have been out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday to Houston (might I recommend the Armadillo Eggs at T-Bone Toms in Kemah, TX!).  My assistant followed up with our Team Captain on Sunday about a service project he was supposed to set up for the 5th Wednesday.  On Sunday my assistant asked him to write down a phone number and call someone to confirm the removal of firewood and then the distribution of said firewood.  Because he had no paper, the phone number was written down for him and given to him.  The Venturing Adviser (YMP) even followed up with him.  This was all unknown to me.

When we got to the church on Wednesday for a service project and I asked our Team Captain what we are supposed to be doing in reguards to an activity and he told me a service project.  I asked him what.  He stared at me and told me he wasn't sure.  He asked me if I knew.  Right then my assistant and the Venturing Adviser walked up and asked him if he had called the area missionaries and their contact for the firewood.  He told them he didn't know what they were talking about.  They reminded him of the discussion they both had with him on Sunday.  He denied having the conversation with them.  They both were sort of in shock.  We had 6 Scouts and the Varsity Captain just sitting around waiting for something to do.  Eventually we found a short project to do. 

So in hoping to help the group evalute how things went I thought doing  Thorns and Roses would be a good idea.  When I told the Captain I thought that this would be a good idea but he told me that he wanted to "reserve" that for campouts only.  I told him that this is one time where I will override him.  We did Thorns and Roses and none of the boys complained about nothing being planned.  I found that odd.  I know the leaders were staring at each other waiting for it to come but it never did. 

So obviously we are doing something wrong with this boy.  He either doesn't feel like he needs to lead, doesn't understand the importance of his leadership or just doesn't want to do it.  But we are back to the drawing board.  This issue is mine and not his.  Obviously I need to do something different.  The problem is definately me.  My assistant Varsity Coach and I am planning on making in home visits to each of our Varsity Scouts soon.  Maybe this will help make a better connection to each boy and help them to see the importance of them fulfilling their calling.

5 to 1 Rule

I found an interesting article by Walter over at ScoutmasterCG.com about negativity being more hurtful than we ever thought.  Walter discusses that there must be five positive feedback to each negative feedback or the relationship will fail!!

I was shocked that the results were a failed relationship.  Granted there will still be some sort of a relationship but it won't be effective.  It may just be a relationship on the outside but not on the inside.  Leadership skills can't be learned.  Testimony can't be shared.  Friendship will be over when they are no longer a Scout.

I had many different kinds of Scout Leaders as a Scout.  One was a McDonald's milk shake kind of leader.  Every week, we would climb into his big, red Bronco and drive to McDonalds and we would order a milk shake.  We would then sit in the parking lot and talk.  Maybe my Mom called him and asked him to just talk to me.  Granted on the outside this must look like he not only was violating YP (don't think it was around back in 1991) but also a bad leader.  But I think he cared about me.  My Dad was in the military and always gone from home on temporary duty assignments and an 18 month tour in the Azores.  Maybe instead of helping me with a merit badge, he was working on our relationship.  Maybe he was helping me clear my head and voice my frustrations.  I can't remember him ever chastising me.  He showed he cared.  Whenever you are Brother Funk (Denver, CO), I thank you.  You have helped determine who I am as a Scout leader.  I think of your example often.

As another example, in the same unit ~ I went on my first winter campout from moving from the desert.  I was poorly equipped.  I wore jeans.  It had snowed.  My jeans melted the snow and then froze.  I had a horrible tent.  It was a real eye opener for me.  When I was on verge of hypothermia, I freaked out.  I was yelling and screaming about being cold asking for help!  I couldn't get warm enough.  I was a Scoutmaster's nightmare.  In the midst of my fit, my Scoutmaster slapped me in front of all the other boys.  It was humiliating.  I deserved the slap.  I still believe that today but to have it done in front of my peers instead of pulling me aside to talk to me, I will never forget.  In the end, my Scoutmaster ran me to the cabin, threw my clothes in the dryer, me in the warm shower and got me warmed up again.  He was so condescending to me while we were at the cabin.  Instead of seeing it as his failure to help me prepare for the winter campout, it was all my fault (and to a certain extent it was my fault).  I made it through the rest of the campout OK.  I got better equipped quickly for the next campout.  I am sure wherever that Scoutmaster is today, I was one of his worse memories.

Both memories now I see for good and bad.  Both experience are quick to my memory as both ends of leadership scale.  I appreciate both experiences though.  I appreciate the positive more than the negative.  In the end, I am better for having experienced both!  The positive stuck with me just like the negative did.  I remember the positive more quickly.

Thorn, Roses and Buds

In a previous post I discussed reflection after games.  I still think that is a good way to get to know your boy without having to do one-on-one discussions with him.  Again, what he learns and how he learns will show what kind of boy he is.

Thorns and Roses is a way to reflect on the day or an activity.  It is a great way to end a campout.  The boys get to talk about what they didn't like (thorn) and what he liked (rose).  We now add a bud (what they are looking forward to).  This is a great way to also receive feedback.  It is a great way for the boy leaders to receive feedback.  "Brother Fishgutts, the boys didn't like this.  Maybe we could do it a different way next time." 

I encourage you to try it.