I hate adults!!! A tale of an Eagle Project.

I should say I hate a specific type of adult that I seem to keep come across and Ask Andy seems to be asked tons of questions about each time he doles out advice.  What type of adult is it that I hate?  I hate adults that expect a program run by boys to fit their perfect mold and has unrealistic expectations of how things are supposed to run.  Just because you have been in the program forever doesn't mean you know everything and traditions need to meet a quick and bloody death especially when these traditions hurt your relationship with a boy.

Need an example?  I am all too happy to share.

I met with a young man to approve his Eagle Project.  Like most boys in my Stake, this boy didn't have the 3 required signatures for his Eagle Project that I need to see before signing off on his project (another topic for another time).  This boy attends Scouts in the same building I do and so I asked him to go get the signatures required and I would in turn sign his project off that night.

Notice how there are no adults in this picture of Scouts doing an Eagle Project?  Normal Rockwell knew Scouting.

On the way out to meet with my Varsity Scouts, this boy's Mom stopped me and asked when my schedule would be clear to sign her son's project off.  I asked her why he wasn't able to get his signatures.  She told me that his new VARSITY COACH would not sign off on his project or even listen to him present the project because (deep breath Fishgutts, deep breath) his project wasn't in a binder and he didn't have any pictures even though he had a diagram of his project.  The mom told me her son was obviously upset but was very respectful of his Varsity Coach and basically said "OK" and then went and gave his mom his paperwork so he could go participate in his weekly meeting.

I grabbed his paperwork and restrained myself from swearing like a sailor while I ran to find the Chartering Organization Representative (hereafter called the COR - and in the LDS Church it is usually one of the Bishopric members) because the VARSITY COACH had left the building.  I found both Counselors of the Bishopric supervising their Troop putting out new hymnals in the Chapel.  I am friends with both.  I asked them why their VARSITY COACH (who was the ASM over the 11 year old Scouts for years until a short while ago) would not sign an Eagle Scout project over a binder and pictures.  Both shook their head and the COR said "This is normal when dealing with this person."  I asked why they would make such a man a Scout leader and I got no reply.  They had both been present during this exchange between the VARSITY COACH and the Varsity Scout and both told me they didn't like the way it was handled.  I told them that this is absolutely unacceptable and as a member of the Advancement Committee I can and will sign for this VARSITY COACH and I can and will cut him out of the whole process of Eagle Projects if need be.  Where in the paperwork does it require that a binder is required along with pictures?  No where.  Yes it is great and beautiful if it is in a binder and you do have pictures but I will be a monkey's uncle before I allow this "requirements" to be acceptable and boys turned away from getting project approval. 

So I went back to the mom and told her I would be signing the boy's Eagle Project for his Varsity Coach and if he has any issues he can call me.  And then I signed for the Varsity Coach.

Conclusion:  

When in life is ruining a relationship with a Scout worth having his paperwork in a binder with pictures?  This undermines your authority as a Scout leader.  Not even giving the boy the time of day doesn't help either.

So to all the parents, Scouts and Scouters out there - GET RID OF TRADITION, GET RID OF YOUR "REQUIREMENTS" AND GET RID OF EXPECTATIONS!  No boy deserves to have unforeseen requirements placed upon him especially when he doesn't know them.  Each road in Scouting is unique as each boy travels down much different roads.  Even if two boys earned the same merit badges and went on all the same campouts, they would learn much different things.  Your relationship with a Scout is worth more than holding on to your silly tradition.  I wish the phrase "Well that is how we have been doing it..........." could be forever removed from our minds.  Adults get out of the way of these boys and let them work the Scouting program!

There may be updates on this post as the Advancement Chair for the Advancement Committee totally back me up on this and I need to contact this Varsity Coach to educate him on the process.

Eagle Project #2

I have been shot gun contacted by a boy (some emails one month followed by some emails another month followed by some emails in a third month) in June 2012, August 2012 and September 2012 about approving his Eagle Scout Project.  He never could make any of the meeting I offered to sign his paperwork.  So this last week the fall out began when he asked for his Eagle Board of Review.

• His leaders told him to have me sign his project for approval after the project was completed.
• He had raised $6000 to buy dental equipment for a non profit to use in a foreign country.
• Created a program for dental education to be taken to the foreign country to be taught to children.

Only the boy started the actual project before getting my signature.  And completed the project before getting my signature.  And raised money for a group without my signature.  

So the boy must complete another project.

And the blame was placed at my feet because I am "hard to get a hold of" and "don't return emails" even though I have an email chain to prove that I returned every email and then I got no reply for months and weeks.  

So I guess what I have learned is that I need to be hound dog about approving these projects.  I am a bit concerned that in this situation the boy's responsibility has been removed except for having to do another project.  I guess that is enough of a punishment.

Pull him from Scouting

A mother who threatens to pull her son out of Scouting because the BSA doesn't allow openly gay members isn't a mother who understands the benefits of Scouting.*

*This isn't an open discussion on the pro's or con's of the BSA policy.  I follow both sides of the argument and both have good arguments.  

At a loss for words.......

How can a guardian of a boy with a brain tumor say this to me after the doctors tell him they are not going to operate to remove the tumor and instead take meds to control seizures????

"Scout" sat there and cried when they gave him the news that he'd have to take meds the remainder of his life, which means a continuing potential for seizures. "Wife" cried too. I did not, but I have not invested the time in helping "Scout" as much as "wife" has.

So insensitive!!



I hate people.

When authority goes wild* - Thorn and Roses

Either something is a Scouting event or it is a Church event.  Either you are using BSA's insurance or you are using the Church's insurance.  And when they tell you that you need to fill out a Tour Permit (or whatever they are called now) there is a pretty clear line that the event is a BSA event.  No if, ands or buts - no justification.  Hence comes our problem when LDS leaders try to blur the lines between the BSA, the Church and their unrighteous reading of how there is a difference between the BSA and the BSA in the Church. 

Our congregations 11 year old Patrol combines with another wards 11 year old Patrol.  Part of the issue is due to the fact that we have let the Assistant Scoutmaster over 11 year Scouts of the other ward, while a good man that I personally really like, run the program.  And of course bias has appeared but no one wants to address it.  The program is OK but when boys don't bring their books, requirements don't get passed off.  In fact, if they don't bring their books that night they have to pass off the requirement again.  Hence many of our boys are already a year behind in Scouts when they come into our "true" Troop.

Thorn:

Our Stake is having an 11 year old campout.  Our Assistant Scoutmaster (ASM) over the 11 year old Scouts filled out the form for his boys to come and added three of our Scouts to come to the event due to the fact that they are behind from the previous program.

Our Scoutmaster (SM) gets a call from the Stake Primary President telling Scoutmaster that she doesn't want the 3 12 year old Deacons to come and camp at the event but they are more than OK to come for the merit badge classes on Sunday.  Scoutmaster says that is fine with no arguments and hangs up the phone.

30 minutes later a member of the Stake Presidency** calls again telling SM that he doesn't want the Deacons to come to camp at the event but can come to the classes the next day.  He explains that there is a huge difference between this church event and a BSA event.  And he goes on to discuss how the 11 year old program really isn't a BSA program (why the Tour Permits then, huh?) and asks the Scoutmaster if he understands.  My Scoutmaster, to his credit, tells him "I don't really get it."  He gives him the whole line again and adds things like he doesn't want three boys to take away from everyone else experience.  And claims because the boys hold the Priesthood, this event isn't for them but they can still come on Saturday.

• So why does the camping of three 12 year olds cause such an issue if there is a Tour Permit?  They can come but only after the true night camping part is over?  
• Why is this a Church event if everyone will be in BSA uniforms and the proper BSA forms will be in place at the demands of the Stake?
• If this truly is a Priesthood event (or a BSA event) should we be including three boys who got a crappy 11 year old program?  How will three boys with an excellent leader crash this event?
• If the Stake Primary President is called to preside over this program, people don't get to make decisions for her.  Or at least they shouldn't get to.  I know I sure as heck wouldn't allow someone to step on me or my wife like this.

Some leaders have no clue how to lead.  Their people skills suck and don't understand the difference between the Spirit of the Law and the Letter of the Law.  You can't call something a Scout Camp and then in the same breath call it a Church camp.  Either it is one or it is the other.  I think we have been given very clear direction about not confusing events to try and fit what we want to do.

Rose:

In the end, the Varsity Team will teach these boys the requirements they would have passed off at this sham of a camp.  It is more in the true Scout spirit that my boys do it anyways.  And they will get a more quality class from my boys.

Another Rose:

With the bad examples of leadership I experience I always put that into the back of my mind with the thought "If you are ever called to serve, don't be like that."  My SM said the same thing.

*  You can go ahead and call me a bad Mormon because you think I am speaking ill of my leaders but this is nothing of the sort.  Any leader is willing to receive some criticism and some feedback especially for the decisions they make.  In the end I respect that they get to make a decision even if I believe it is right, wrong and/or stupid.  I have to have a testimony of their decision.  I am not blind and will not follow without that belief in what they believe.  I am not a sheeple.  Any leader who thinks they know it all and they are the end all be all especially when they are a councilor and not the President of a group doesn't understand how the Church is organized.  This was told to me by my SM.

**  Two years ago at Girls Camp, this leader at a nightly meeting was discussing Trek the next year and how Girls Camp and High Adventure would be cancelled for the older youth of the Stake.  The Young Men leaders (they had been called to come and help and asked to stay for a meeting) and Young Women leaders were in shock until the Stake President arrived at the meeting after attending to some of his duties.  When they asked them if that was truly the case of being cancelled he said "No.  There is no way we would cancel those events."  I had a shocked relative in this meeting.

New Varsity Scout

New Varsity Scout moves into our unit.  Isn't really excited about Scouts but he and I have a decent relationship already.  Side note: Each week at Church, the boys teach each other out of the Preach My Gospel manual in preparation for mission service.  This has been very successful especially in identifying those who have an easier time teaching whatever the topic might be.  This new Varsity Scout is excellent.  He teaches very well.

I contact great uncle and great aunt about his advancement records (he lives with them).  They send me to his old Scout leader.  That becomes problem #1.  Why don't they know where he is at?  Problem #2 is unit has no clue where he is at and doesn't have an advancement records for him.  SERIOUSLY???  They send me to the Council.  This alarms me because if the unit doesn't have records for the Scout, why the heck would the Council?

Most LDS Scouters and LDS Units suck eggs.  I know there are exceptions but those who suck those eggs make the rest of us look really, really, really bad.  I seriously can't believe they have NO record or anything to send to me to at least look like they know what they are doing.  So now not only does my own unit make things difficult on my by the lack of support of a Scout Committee but some unit half way around the US makes my job more difficult.

Quality Assistant GONE

I heard today from the Scoutmaster (and 2nd C in the YW) that he is going to be released and my first quality Assistant Varsity Coach in 4 years (and 5 men) will be the new Scoutmaster.  Again, to me it appears my Ward leadership doesn't understand tenure.  When I was called into Scouting 4 years ago, I was told to plan on having my calling for 10 years.  Each Scout leader was also told this.  I am the only one left after 4 years.  Ya, the Scoutmaster needed to be released because even though he was an Eagle Scout he didn't even understand how to use a blue card but still.  Venturing Adviser is in the Bishopric now and he is the one pulling the strings on this idea.

I have said it before and I am saying it again, this might be the straw that breaks the camel back.  Our Troop has 5 boys.  My Team has 10.  Nothing like under cutting my Team which is almost on its feet after 4 years.  I am so upset I can't even explain it without curse words.  This is why LDS Scouting will never be able to be a "true" Scouting unit.  A tentative resignation letter may be written this week.  Some in the LDS faith might say it doesn't work this way.  You are right, it doesn't.  But I have integrity in the work (my calling) that I do and I will not continue to have no support from the Bishopric, no support from a Scout Committee that expects me to do it all and parents who expect the same.  I am burnt out.  I am not going to continue to be a part of a broken wheel and act like it isn't broken.  I will find a community troop, trade in my orange, sit in the back of the room and be an ASM somewhere else.

The soon to be released Scoutmaster is going to Wood Badge this week.  So is my Assistant.  And so is the Venturing Adviser.  I am going to staff.  I am so hot............

Bullying

This is an interested article on bullying.

In my Troop, Team and Crew we call tearing someone down "shooting their bucket".  We are constantly harping and reminding boys to not shoot each other buckets.  Church and Scouts should be the last place this stuff should happen - plain and simple.  I have no patience.  NONE for boys tearing each other down.  At times when we do reflections I must remind them to not comment or shoot each others buckets.

My children have suffered from "forms of bullying" like gossiping.  I don't think we can or should shield them from all of it because we don't want thin skinned kids and there is just no possible way to perfectly protect them.  Just like we shouldn't be shielding them from the world, we should be helping them see the reality of the world and how to deal with it/not be part of it.

500 feet to go and he gave up..........

This past weekend we took our boys on something most Mormon Scouts never get to do..........a 3 day hiking trip.  The Troop, Team and the Crew went hiking on the Cross Timbers Hiking Trail.  We hiked 5 miles the first day.  We hiked 5 miles back the next day to where we started and then waited for parents to come and camp with us overnight and then went home the next morning.  Half of the boys had no experience hiking except for a mile hike last month including the older boys.  To put it plainly, all they have done is car camp and we have been struggling to get parents and boys for 4 years (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to get out of the car with their gear and go further than 50 feet.  But we have done it and the boys love it even though at times they struggle.

One of the boys is 13 and has special needs.  His parents have yet to tell us what they are even when we ask them.  We can guess what the need is though.  His father was just called as an Assistant Scoutmaster to help mentor his own child (which I see the pros and cons to).  He makes it to most weekend camps but because this one would require taking time off work, he couldn't make it.  The first 5 miles of our trip took us, with an hour break for lunch, about 6 hours to hike because of him and some of the younger boys.  I am not complaining trust me.  I was slow too but my mentality was "I will hike my own hike and I will get there when I get there."  This boy gave up in the first 15 minutes of our hike like he had last month at our 1 mile hike through difficult terrain.  Mom and Dad packed his bag like we told them not too.  They packed it heavy and when we told him and his parents to lighten the load at the shakedown they told us they were not even done packing yet.  They have yet to buy his food.  On the trail this boy kept yelling for his dad and asking when we were going to be done.  I grabbed his hand at times and pulled him.  Other boys had him grab a rope on their backpack and pulled him up hills.  He was cursing his Dad for not being on the campout and carrying most of his stuff for him like he had the month before.

Literally 500 feet from the trail head to finish our 10 miles, the boy threw himself down and told us he was done.  I told him to stand up and look over the ridge.  The end was right around the corner.  He called me a liar.  I told him I was not lying.  I "ordered" him to his feet and told him to "get to stepping" and he was finished with the hike in less than 3 minutes.  I had asked my son to go grab the boys backpack and bring it over to the other ones.  Within 30 minutes the boy was sitting at the adult table joking about food and the hike like he hadn't even struggled.  That required a ton of patience honestly.  Saying you can't do something and then having enough energy to joke and go and play after a hike means to me that you could have hiked more miles or with a better attitude.

Some of the other challenges we faced were:

1. Some of the Troop members were so small tightening their backpacks had no ability to hold their packs closer to their bodies or on their hips.  Their backpacks were too big.  
2. When the Varsity Coach tells you that you don't need 3 pairs of shoes and 5 pocket knives to hike 10 miles, he is probably right.  Especially when you only use one knife at a time (even though you think you might be mugged in the middle of the woods) and only end up wearing one pair of shoes the whole time.
3. Canned food is NOT trail food.  
4. You fill up your water bladders and bottles EACH AND EVER time you get the chance to.  One boy was out of water at the end of 5 miles (also another boys who's parents packed his bag).  
5. Another boy drank another boy's water until he had none.  
6. MRE's are great to eat but they are big and heavy especially when you weigh 100 pounds and your parents and grandparents pack 4 of them.
7. One of the boys decided to drop his pants to a couple of boaters that went by.
8. Boys don't tie their shoes.  They do the socially "my shoes look tied to my feet but they are not".

Conclusion:

Do we put stuff we don't need in our own personal and spiritual backpacks?
When we need to lighten our own loads do we just decide to "tough it out"?
Do we need to be instructed in all things?
Do we give up before we start?
Do we give up right before we are done?
Do we do a disservice by doing things for boys instead of letting them struggle a bit?

What I learned from this campout:

• You can go through 4 liters of water very quickly on a 5 mile hike especially when it is hot and you take over 6 hours to do it.
• Patience, patience and more patience.
• Making yourself miserable only makes yourself miserable and unable to function.
• Hike my own hike but always be moving forward.
• Don't look too far forward or too far back.  Stare at the guys shoes in front of you and just keep moving.
• I can not only hike 10 miles of difficult Texas "hills" but I can do it with a 55 pound pack.
• Loosing 30 pounds doesn't make you in shape to hike.
• Boy leadership is very effective for motivating other boys when done correctly.  Sometimes we just have to remind the boys they need to lead.
• My son can hike better than I can.

We went from Juniper Point to 5 Mile Camp.

View from 5 Mile Camp.

On the trail on one of the hottest days of the years so far.

I saw this view a lot.

You find a lot of weird stuff on the trail.

Non-registered Eagle

For those of you that don't remember this story, you can refresh your memory here.

I received word today that this boy's application was approved by National and he was awarded his Eagle Scout.  The Ward didn't even let me know.  I had to call our Council office to find out.  They have known for over 3 weeks.  I guess it only matters that it is gone though; it was been on my mind for a very long time.

Issues

Someone close to me sent me this email.  Just an FYI, the ward is so small they only run a Troop.  Son X is the son of Sister X or Mom X.

I had a long conversation with the bishop last night after our troop meeting.  Things are a little worse than I thought.  Sister X and her son Son X were released last night.  This is what I have been waiting for for 4 months. But after speaking with the bishop, I went home upset and frustrated.  Let me explain.

For the last few years, Sister X has been 11-Year-Old Scout Leader, but at some point I think there weren't any 11 year olds, and she was asked to help with the older boys.  I'm pretty sure this is what the bishop wanted her to do.  However, she started running troop meetings, and never went back to working with the new 11 year olds.  When my wife was called as Primary President, Sister X basically said to her, "Yes, I'm the 11-year-old Scout Leader, but I don't work with the 11 year olds."

She has also been the Troop Committee Chair.  There hasn't been a functioning committee, but we are all on the books.  I would call her "executive scoutmaster" if I had to describe the job she had.  I do not take anything away from her accomplishment with the boys, but it is not the authorized program of the church or BSA.

Her son, Son X, has been the Scoutmaster. He is inactive, but was nominally given the calling of Teachers Quorum assistant adviser.  Apparently the bishopric and parents are very happy with what he has done.  I have a feeling he and Sister X made rank advancements and merit badges too easy to obtain, but that is in the past and I am not going to say anything or concern ourselves with that.  We just move forward from here.

Son X started dating a girl last summer, and in October they moved in together. She came to troop meetings (with her dog) and Son X made a comment in front of the boys that they had moved in.  He got really distracted and missed several troop meetings.  They got married a few weeks ago.  Because of the holidays and the wedding, the X Family did not attend troop meetings in December or January.

About the same time (October to December) our YM president went MIA. The bishop released him and called me mid-December. In all of this mess, enter me and my new presidency.  Here's my problem:

From my perspective, I and my presidency are taking Scouting seriously and running a good program (and one that is in sync with the church & BSA handbooks and training). We don’t know everything, but we are doing our best.  From the bishop's perspective, I took over too soon from the X Family, and he is very happy with the job they have done. The bishop is the one that set up the following system with the previous YM and Scouting Leaders:

YM President = Spiritual & Church Program

Sister X and Son X = Scouting Program

Which of course is not how it is meant to work... at all.  There is nothing in any handbook or training that at all suggests that the YM Presidency is divorced from Scouting, and yet the bishop called a YM President (and gave him no presidency for about a year) and asked someone else to run Scouting.

When I was called I jumped in to my new calling and followed what I read in the Church & Scouting handbooks.  I've relied on the advice from the Stake YM presidency, from you, and from a man in our ward who has done Scouting for 30 years.  When the bishop called me, I specifically asked if the X Family would be released, and the answer was yes.  So I have been waiting for them to be released, and have not been able to assign my very capable 2nd Counselor as Scoutmaster.

I've run our troop meetings, organized a troop notebook with training materials, initiated the recharter process, arranged for Scoutmaster Conferences and boards of review, and planned a high adventure activity.

According to the bishop last night, I did not give him enough time to speak to the X Family and allow for a "smooth transition." His timetable is different from mine.

Anyway, the X Family were finally released last night, and that is a good thing. The Scouts can have a normal, healthy, and authorized program with 4 worthy men (my presidency) who are their Spiritual leaders and Scouting leaders.  I just wish the bishop could be as thrilled with that as I am.  There is a lot of work to do, but the bishop and I are not seeing eye-to-eye.

Thanks.

My reply:

OK BIL.  I can see EXACTLY why you are so frustrated.  I see a few fundamental issues here with the way your Bishop is running the Scouting program.  In the end though, he is the one accountable for all the issues or the success of the program.

First things first, the 11 Year Old Scout leader is actually an Assistant Scoutmaster.  And as you know the Church doesn’t have female Scoutmasters or female Assistant Scoutmasters (though in the BSA they do happen).  This clear violation of the Church’s policy goes to show that your Bishop doesn’t have a clue how the Scouting program works even though he is in charge of it.  I know that isn’t helpful but it is pretty clear from looking at it.  In fact, as you know you don’t even hold any keys.  YMP don’t get to pick their counselors but get to give feedback on whom the Bishopric has chosen. So the accountability issue is all his.  If you succeed, it is because of you.  If you fail, it is because of him.  Taking over for the X Family “too early” seems to me that your Bishop doesn’t understand the importance of having a fully functioning program at all times.

You are rebuilding a program.  I inherited a dodgeball program from Brother M (I was called un-fun for years and that really upset me) and half the boys in our unit don’t even know how to use matches and that should have been taught by our Scoutmaster, Brother B.  I am not pointing fingers.  It is what it is.  You give the boys the benefit of the doubt if you don’t think they have accomplished requirements to earn rank and merit badges.  “The tie goes to the boy.”  Don’t give up.  Vent as much as you need especially to me.  I see some very close similarities in our programs.

Second, the Young Men’s Presidency and the Scouting leaders in most cases are supposed to be the same people.  I know the green LDS handbook says that on page 3.

Aaronic Priesthood Quorum Advisers - (Ward Young Men Presidency)

Generally, Aaronic Priesthood quorum advisers serve as the adult leaders to the Scouting units in the ward. Both the adviser and the assistant adviser(s) attend all meetings of the quorum and the Scouting unit and must be registered with the Boy Scouts of America.

Third, if your Bishop didn’t want you to take over from the X Family he shouldn’t have called you.  Does he expect you to shirk your responsibility?  Even if my Bishop told me to, I wouldn’t have listened to him.  It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.  At the end of the day, your conscious should be clean.  You are doing everything you can!

You and SIL are in a loose-loose situation in my opinion.  You can either fight like heck to break “the traditions of your fathers” that were established by the X Family or you can give in.  Don’t give in!  The first 2 years of my calling were an absolute headache.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted to be released.  I wanted to stop going on Wednesday.  And why was Sister X running Troop meetings?  If she at least sort of understood the Scouting program, she would have realized that the boys are supposed to lead the meetings, teach the skills and close the meetings.  Everything is supposed to be done by the boys (it is mission preparation!). 

I might suggest again you calling your Stake Young Men’s President and explaining the issue(s) again and asking for his advice again.  He is in charge of your training on the Church side.  If you need help on the Scouting side, go to your District for help.  Please call him.  If nothing else, maybe he can put a bug in the Stake Presidency’s ear about helping to train your Bishop in how Scouting should work.  In fact our Bishopric just received 2 hours of training on a Sunday from the Stake Presidency on how Scouting is supposed to work.  Most Bishops have no clue how to run a Scouting program.  Think of what a great Bishop you will be!!

Can you send me your mailing address?  I am going to order you a book called “Trails to Testimony” by Brad Harris.  Please read this as soon as you get it.  It breaks down Scouting in one column of the page and on the other side of the page breaks down how it relates to the Church on the other.  Brad Harris was the Barney’s old Bishop and mine when I moved to Little Elm.  He teaches Scouting at BYU.

If the Bishop’s time table was different than yours he clearly should have left things the way they were and not called you.

Remember in the end your success in the Church and in the Scouting program will be judged on giving the program back to the boys.  What I mean is that you need to train them to:

·        Run their own Scout meetings including learning how to take a skill they know and teach it to each other.

·        Run their own campouts.

·        Let them pick their own activities.

·        Run their own Presidency Meeting(s).

Boy lead is your goal.  It will never be perfect.  They are teenage boys.  But you sure as heck can try.  Lay their program(s) at their feet and enable, advocate and mentor these boys.  A boy lead program leads to better Scouts, better missionaries, better HTers, better husband and better endowed members.  In the end, who cares what the Bishop thinks about you because I know you are doing things as close to the handbooks are you can and you are trying your heart out.  If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have called and emailed me!  If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have agreed to serve as YMP.  I wish you were back in LE because I would have gobbled you up into our program!  We need more men like you who are dedicated to not doing the status quo and magnifying their calling.  Pray that your Bishop’s heart will be softened. 

Again, call as much as you need.  Don’t feel like you are burdening me.

"Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never - -in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." – Winston Churchill

Would you have any other advice for BIL?

Another Advancement Nightmare

Today I met with a 13 year old Scout about his Eagle Scout project at one of the LDS Church buildings.  While making copies I noticed a flier and collection boxes for an Eagle Scout Project.  When I went to look to see who the Scout was that was doing his project, I noticed that is was one that I denied his project and paperwork 5 weeks ago because he didn't have his project written up on the BSA Eagle Scout Leadership Service Project Workbook.  He obtained a "version" of this packet on the internet and wrote it up.  I pulled his Dad into the room and made it very clear to them both that the project could not be started until it was on a BSA form and had my signature.  I was very clear about this!  Very.

I really don't try to be a hard butt.  Really.  But the BSA Eagle Packet clearly states on page 2 under "The Requirement" sub heading:

As stated in The Boy Scout Handbook: While a Life Scout, plan, develop, and give leadership to others in a service project helpful to your religious institution, school, or your community.  (The project should benefit an organization other than the BSA.) The project plan must be approved by the organization benefiting from the effort, your unit leader (Scoutmaster, Varsity Scout Coach, Venturing crew Advisor), unit committee, and by the council or district advancement committee before you start. You must use this Eagle Scout Leadership Service Project Workbook (No. 512-927 or its online equivalent on the National Eagle Scout Association’s Web site, http://www.NESA.org) in meeting this requirement.

Clearly this states that they have to use the BSA packet.  They can't use a version of it that someone created.

On page 3 under "Approvals" it states:

The project plan must be reviewed and approved by the beneficiary of the project, your unit leader, the unit committee, and the council or district advancement committee before the project is started.

 Remember, the project must be approved before you begin, so make sure all signatures have been secured before you start the project.

I am not sure why  LDS Scouters have such an issue with these issues.  Am I expecting too much for them to follow the written instructions in the packet?  How come I have had NO issues with non-LDS units yet all my issues have been with the LDS units?

Anyone have an ideas?

UPDATE:  I have since talked with the Scout's mom (2 days after I left her a lengthy voice mail).  I explained to her that I had talked to the Scout and her husband 5 weeks ago that they needed to use the proper forms.  I told her I had not signed the paperwork.  I told her that I made it very clear that her son could not start his project until he has my signature.  She said she had not idea and neither her son or husband had kept her in the loop about what is going on.  She told me that both of the Scout and her husband told her that everything was OK and he was clear to start work on his project.  I told her I would email her the proper form so that there was no confusion.  I also told her that he could not collect any items until I had signed the form.  Sounded like she was going to be the motivating force to ensure I signed the forms quickly. 

I think this goes to show that sometimes the driving force in Scouting are the moms.  My mom was.

5 to 1 Rule

I found an interesting article by Walter over at ScoutmasterCG.com about negativity being more hurtful than we ever thought.  Walter discusses that there must be five positive feedback to each negative feedback or the relationship will fail!!

I was shocked that the results were a failed relationship.  Granted there will still be some sort of a relationship but it won't be effective.  It may just be a relationship on the outside but not on the inside.  Leadership skills can't be learned.  Testimony can't be shared.  Friendship will be over when they are no longer a Scout.

I had many different kinds of Scout Leaders as a Scout.  One was a McDonald's milk shake kind of leader.  Every week, we would climb into his big, red Bronco and drive to McDonalds and we would order a milk shake.  We would then sit in the parking lot and talk.  Maybe my Mom called him and asked him to just talk to me.  Granted on the outside this must look like he not only was violating YP (don't think it was around back in 1991) but also a bad leader.  But I think he cared about me.  My Dad was in the military and always gone from home on temporary duty assignments and an 18 month tour in the Azores.  Maybe instead of helping me with a merit badge, he was working on our relationship.  Maybe he was helping me clear my head and voice my frustrations.  I can't remember him ever chastising me.  He showed he cared.  Whenever you are Brother Funk (Denver, CO), I thank you.  You have helped determine who I am as a Scout leader.  I think of your example often.

As another example, in the same unit ~ I went on my first winter campout from moving from the desert.  I was poorly equipped.  I wore jeans.  It had snowed.  My jeans melted the snow and then froze.  I had a horrible tent.  It was a real eye opener for me.  When I was on verge of hypothermia, I freaked out.  I was yelling and screaming about being cold asking for help!  I couldn't get warm enough.  I was a Scoutmaster's nightmare.  In the midst of my fit, my Scoutmaster slapped me in front of all the other boys.  It was humiliating.  I deserved the slap.  I still believe that today but to have it done in front of my peers instead of pulling me aside to talk to me, I will never forget.  In the end, my Scoutmaster ran me to the cabin, threw my clothes in the dryer, me in the warm shower and got me warmed up again.  He was so condescending to me while we were at the cabin.  Instead of seeing it as his failure to help me prepare for the winter campout, it was all my fault (and to a certain extent it was my fault).  I made it through the rest of the campout OK.  I got better equipped quickly for the next campout.  I am sure wherever that Scoutmaster is today, I was one of his worse memories.

Both memories now I see for good and bad.  Both experience are quick to my memory as both ends of leadership scale.  I appreciate both experiences though.  I appreciate the positive more than the negative.  In the end, I am better for having experienced both!  The positive stuck with me just like the negative did.  I remember the positive more quickly.

Eagle Board of Review

Not too long ago I did an Eagle Board of Review.  It was an absolute visit to the dentists.  The boy called me after he was 18 from Idaho (I am in TX) where he was spending his 2 month vacation to let me know that when he got home he needed a Board of Review.  When he returned he was sitting at 18 years old 2 months.  When he got home, he called me and told me about a problem he had with his Eagle Scout Leadership Project packet.  I asked him to it on his doorstep and I would come by, take it and look at it.

When I appeared to get it and looked at it, my mouth dropped to the floor.  3 incomplete, half signed packets.  One of the "Eagle Project Packets" wasn't even the BSA approved packet yet it had the signature from the organization that would be receiving the project, the charter organization rep and the unit chair.  And to make things worst, a District Advancement Rep had also signed a non-BSA packet.  My mouth fell even further.  I got mad.  LDS leaders had no clue that they were supposed to use the BSA approved Eagle Leadership packet?  They not only failed the boy, they failed themselves.  So, I calmed down to make a few phones calls to his leaders and my boss on the Advancement Committee getting his approval to make these three into one semi-perfect packet.  I was upset.  The boy seemed to be doing this half excited and his unit wasn't providing the proper motivation.  He half filled out one legal packet and then decided to half fill out another legal packet.  There was no rhyme or reason.

So here comes the Eagle Board of Review.  First thing I notice is that the requirement on the Eagle Scout Rank Application that talks about who he did his Eagle Project for and how many hours, he had listed a 10 hour service project he had done.  At this point, I was pushed over the limit.  I was ready to scream.  Again, the boy is doing things willy-nilly and the unit isn't looking over the paperwork but just signing the paperwork.  Maybe they were just taking his word that he had filled it out right.  Is there no pride as to the things you sign?  This wasn't a homework packet being signed to go back to a teacher.  This was supposed to not only impress me but the BSA.  The boy didn't seem to care and the unit either didn't care or they are just uneducated.  I don't think the later is the case as I have done 3 others in this unit and this seemed to be the only one with issues. 

His Bishop was going to serve on his Board and before we started I told the Board that I wasn't really excited about this Board of Review.  I had worked too hard on this.  Please don't think I expect puppies and fluff clouds in this line of work.  I really don't but I feel like I went above and beyond when assigned leaders could have fixed these issues.  Some may just think this is part of the job.  And it may be.  I felt like the boy didn't deserve Eagle (start the hate-mail now!!).

UPDATE:  Since writing this post, I have been contacted by the Council.  Why you might ask?  The boy since moving to Texas over two years ago, has never, ever been registered as a Scout in his Ward.  The Council will not process his application because he was never a Scout in the Council.  This enrages me.  Talk about failing the boy.  Talk about adults that have no clue as to what they are doing.  Talk about screwing up the simple things.  I better stop now.

UPDATE #2:  This Scout now needs National to approve the fact that he can even apply to be an Eagle because he was unregistered while he worked on Scouting.  Also because he is over 18.  Then he has to apply and pay for each year he has gone unregistered.  Then it goes back to National to see if they approve it.  We are also now needing his records from his previous Council.  NOTE TO ALL LDS SCOUTERS:  KNOW YOUR STUFF!  Boys lives (and emotional lives) hang in the balance.

Post on the lack of good Scouting Legacy in an LDS Ward

This is sad story of how LDS parents moved their Scout out of an LDS Scouting unit because of bad leadership.

http://www.millennialstar.org/why-we-left-lds-scouting/