Quote - Character is not learned on the playing field - Coach Bryan Kenney

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Wakeland Wrestling Coach Bryan Kenney shared this message with many in the Northwest Independent School District: 

"We have all heard the quotes on how athletics builds character. I disagree. Athletics builds men and women by giving them a 'playing field' to reveal their character," he wrote. "Chris made all of the hard work the 'Wrestler from Wakeland' has put in, all worth it. They BOTH WON a medal at the J.J. Pearce Mustang Showdown. Thank you Chris and Coach McCready from the entire Wakeland community."

Read the INSIDE of the book.

Great story

This is a great story about an Eagle Scout!!!!

Tough Mudder - A final goodbye

Texas is hot.  Really hot.  And when I signed up for Tough Mudder I thought October was going to be its typical hot and humid heat like most Halloweens where I am dying of heat and humidity.

But this Saturday the weather is going to be changing where I am at.............

Now I served my mission in Alaska.  The day I got to Fairbanks it was -60 degrees.  And 5 months later when I left it was 103 degrees.  And I love cold weather!!!!  And I have lived in the desert with the hot heat.  And I have lived now in Texas longer than anywhere where it is a hot and humid.

But this weekend the weather is going to drop 30 degrees in 48 hours.  And it is supposed to rain all day.  So I am cursing my Scout's parent that even gave me this crazy idea and I am hating life right now.  I guess it is better to be mentally prepared for this hellish event than going in with thinking it is going to be rainbows and unicorns.

Click here if you want to see the hell I will be enduring.

I showed my wife the map and this is what she said via email to me:

To be very honest, I'm kinda worried about you doing this!   I'm not really worried about the money (medical bills) so much as I am about YOU!!  This is the longest race you have ever done AND it has tons of obstacles!!  I KNOW you can do it, but I'm still just scared.  That is one reason I want to be there with you, in case you get hurt or anything then I can take care of you!

Time doesn't matter in this race.  Only finishing does.

If I die, who wants my blog??

Interesting Video

Shoes

You can tell a lot by a person's shoes.  Yesterday at Church, at a Eagle Project proposal and at an Eagle Board of Review, I looked at everyone's shoes.  You can tell a lot.

Never give up! - Kyle Maynard

Talk about never having room to complain about anything EVER again.  That is one tough mudder!!

Clipped from the video's comments:

The next time I think:

• I've had a bad day, month or year,

• I'm ready to quit because I've failed 35 times already,

• I say "this is just too hard" "I'm not smart enough",

• Something takes too long and that little voice inside says “forget about it”,

• I hear myself say I just don’t have what it takes,

• I feel lazy,

• I am about to settle for ‘good enough’, I'll remember this video.

And when a friend's ready to pack it in, I'll sit down with him and we'll watch this video.

Words are painful

My oldest daughter is soon to be 14.  She spends almost every minute living with my wife and I but a couple times a month, her bio dad comes and picks her up and spends 30 hours with her.  Unfortunately these days usually are on Sundays and so she only comes to Church every other week.  She is a sweet girl that is trying to find her place in this world.  I love her to death.  She has had some interesting and unique trials in her life.  She is little framed and skinny as a rail.  Early in school until a few years ago she attended speech therapy because she didn't pronounce her "R's and S's" properly.  People made fun of her.  She attended therapy for a while and has corrected the "problem".  She enjoyed it probably more because she got out of class a couple times a week.

Recently the Beehive's President (youth leader for girls age 12 to 13) told another girl at Church that my daughter had told her she had gone to a party, gotten drunk, passed out, had sex and was pregnant.  The Beehive's President also said that my daughter told her that it was OK to tell everyone this "story".  This rumor spread through our congregation and the Bishop pulled me aside and asked me about it.  He wasn't judging my wife and I but was offering help if we needed it.  I laughed out loud when he told me the rumor.  My daughter has regular teenager issues but nothing along those lines.  I know my daughter has made some royal mistakes though.  A few of them are trusting everyone she comes in contact with because they are her "friends", allowing others to influence her individual decisions and accountability, not heeding council from parents, etc.  I am not one of those parents that sticks their heads in the sands and thinks their kids can do no wrong.  I see all of their weaknesses and all of their strengths.  I try to see them as a mix of the two instead of just the weak side they have.  I discussed it with my wife that night and we discussed whether or not discuss this rumor with our daughter.  We decided we would after we calmed down.  We knew exactly where this rumor came from because this wasn't the first rumor started by my daughter's two-sided friend.

Soon we received a phone call from a friend in the ward sharing with us the same rumor.  She told us that one of her friends discussed this rumor with her and went to the Bishop because she didn't know how to discuss the rumors with us without being uncomfortable.  I shared with this friend that we are always open to discuss the issues our children have.  We realize our kids are on their best behavior when we are around and not so much when we are not.

We discussed the rumor with our daughter and he was visibly hurt.  She knew exactly where the rumor came from without use even sharing the source of the hurtful rumor.  Obviously it was not true.  The party that this happened at never happened.  She never went to a party.  We told her to stay away from this rumor spreading young lady as much as possible.  We told her to limit contact and no matter how this "friend" acts to her face, don't trust her, don't confide in her, etc.  We contemplated going to the Beehive President's parents because we have a decent relationship with them but decided against it because they have justified her actions before and made excuse after excuse for other rumors.  My daughter begged us not to go to them.  So we decided against it.  I am still wondering about this decision.

I have a hard time with rumors.  I also have personal experience due to my divorce.  In the end, words can hurt.  They can be used for good or evil.  I work very hard in my Scouting group to not only squash rumors but also the needling boys tend to do to each other.  Instead of building each other up, they purposely try to break each other down.  It is one thing to joke but it is a whole other when the joke is mean to backhandedly hurt even if the person doesn't understand its purpose.

How do you deal with rumors and unkind words in your Scouting units?

Band Concert

A couple days ago I went to one of my son's band concerts.  Because he lives in a blended home and was with his other Mother, I did not get to see him before the performance.  He plays the bassoon.  I didn't get to participate in that decision and would have probably picked a different instrument for him.  But he enjoys it so I enjoy it.  At the concert, three other bands played before his.  As he entered the hall to play, the lights were shinning in his eyes and you could tell he was looking for my wife, his 2 sisters that live with us and I.  He was searching and searching.  Finally I yelled out "BD!" which is a nickname I gave him.  He saw us and was sort of relieved when he saw us.  After he performed, he looked up to where my family was standing (there were not enough seats for all the parents in the concert hall) and I gave him a big thumbs up.  His band played well and in fact played a song from a very old Disney cartoon that I loved as a kid ~ Peter and the Wolf.

I wonder if at times our Scouts are like my son with the stage lights shining in his eyes, not able to see us.  They want to know we are there.  They want our approval.  They want to know that we think they did a good job.  I am never afraid to tell my kids and my Scouts that I love them.  I am never afraid to tell them that I am proud of them.  All they want is to know we care.

Church Softball League

About a year ago some great guys in my ward put together a softball team to play in a Monday night Church Softball League in our small town.  Most teams that play have been playing for years and so they know the umps and everyone knows everyone.  We were the outsiders.  The LDS Church members in my ward were not ready for the swearing and drinking associated with this "church" softball league and after one season disbanded.  One of my last memories of the season was of two members of the team getting into an argument - I was one of them.  Not my most shining moment.  The other gentleman kept yelling at my teammates and I felt inspired to ask this man to be quiet and leave everyone alone until he calmed down.  When we returned to the dugout, an atomic bomb went off and hurt feelings were everywhere.  All of us were yelled at and all of us were in the wrong.  He asked me to speak to him in private in the middle of the game and I told him I wanted to wait until I calmed down.  Anyway, it ended poorly.  It was the demise of our team.  It was unfortunate.  I had a ton of fun.   I shoulder a lot of the blame for the argument.  I played other sports with him before and knew I should not have played any role in stress of the situation getting worse.  I should have known better.

Some of the things that I have learned from this situation:

• Find out who think winning is the most important thing and don't play with them.
• Some things are better not said even if you are right.
• Forgiveness is necessary even if you feel like you have not done anything wrong.
• Making someone feel like they are successful at something they are not good at will go a long way.

One of my favorite LDS themed films is Church Ball (my favorite is The RM).  Please make sure you read Gary Coleman's quote on the movie ("Whatcu' talking about Willis?") from the link.  I find this movie regarding Church sports so funny because it is so true!  LDS Church basketball truly is the brawl that starts with a prayer.  I don't take my sports so serious.  It doesn't matter the sport.  I think loosing a close, good game is more fun than winning by a landslide.

My personal philosophy on sports is something my Dad used to tell me:  "You are a Fish-er, don't get used to winning."  Some would call this setting me up to loose but I would say that it was setting my expectations realistically.  I play hard.  I do the best I can.  I know I will not win every time I play.  I am no Michael Young.  I am OK with that.  I am more out there for the exercise and having fun even though I loose.  Sometimes beating the softball with a bat to get out life's frustration is worth it and feels sooooooooo good.  I play a pretty decent first base and can dig most throws out of the dirt.  My batting has suffered for some reason but I play the bottom of the order.  What else do you expect?

So a couple of softball seasons ago, I had a guy I really like at my part time job ask me if I have ever played softball.  I told him I had.  He asked when position I play.  I told him first base and he asked me to play on his friend's team he plays on.  We played last season with teams that were way better than us.  It was the summer and we had 70+ days of 100+ degrees.  Most usual teams didn't play that season because it was so hot.  We did poorly.  We left the field not only hot but also with a lot of losses under our belt. 

This fall season (fall is a generous term in Texas) I have played again with my team but the "usual" teams have returned and our talent is more similar.  We have had either some slug-fest with other teams or defensive slug-matches.  It has been a good season.  At least until last night.

Last night attitude reflected leadership.  Our team captain lost his cool time after time.  He was yelling and swearing.  So did some others.  Our game went from bad from worse, in my opinion, because of our attitudes.  I tried to talk the captain off the ledge.  So did some other players but they didn't do it so Scout-like.  I truly tried.  I learned my lesson just over a year ago.  The game ended shortly after one of the opposing players slid into 3rd base and into our Captain.  Our player lost his balance and it appeared to the other team that he tried to step on the other player though he had just tried to regain his balance.  There was yelling and screaming.  At the end of the game, I went over to the other team to mend some fences.  I even put my arm around the guy that slid into 3rd.  He did the same to me.  There were no hard feelings.  I explained the situation.  I don't think I fixed everything but some of them yelled their thanks to me as I was leaving.  I was punished for going over to the other team to smooth things out by not being the Captain for the second game of our double header.  I was told I would not be taking the ball and the line up out to the umpire.  (One small note on double headers as a fat guy of 35 years ~ I feel old after two games.  The morning after I sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies ~ snap, crackle and pop!  I smell like a whole tube of Ben Gay.)

This morning I was called by my friend that asked me to play on his friend's team.  He explained that he wanted to start a new team in the spring because it was time to start a team that didn't have a bad attitude and where a good game is a good game even if we loose.  He told me it was unfortunate that this might end his friendship with his buddy.  He asked me to play on his team.  I like both guys.  It is unfortunate that I have to choose between the two.  I know what I must do.  I will end up upsetting one of my softball buddies.  I appreciate that he sees my attitude as bringing something good to the team.  In the end though, attitude reflects leadership.

The situation reminds me of Wood Badge and the movie Remember the Titians.  If you have been to Wood Badge and they used that clip, you know what I am talking about.  We need to be forming instead of storming.  Purposeful storming is not OK.