Tuesday, September 8, 2015

A True Addiction

I think we probably all have said we were addicted to food but I truly am. About 18 months ago I realized I needed to make some changes in my life after thinking about making those changes for the previous 18 months. I knew the way I viewed food whether stressed or not was part of an ongoing almost 20 year problem. My parents teach the LDS Church's Addiction Recovery class in their stake in Georgia and after years of hearing about it I decided that is where I was going to start. It is a great class. I have enjoyed going. I go off and on now depending on how things go.

Addiction to food, sometimes in the form of overeating and what I suffered from, is an interesting addiction. I used to overeat like no other. I used to think nothing of eating all day and being sick because of it. I was constantly sick, constantly wanting to feel better. I am glad I had the foresight to realize my overeating was out of my hands.

Addiction to food is interesting. If you were addicted to drugs you would stop doing drugs to break the cycle of addiction. You can't just stop eating. I personally think this addiction is hardest (probably because I have only experienced this one) because you still have to eat but must begin the process of thinking of food as fuel instead of a replacement for emotional x, lack of love y and/or drama z. I am still working, slowly I might add, my 12 steps. There are steps I know I cannot address yet in my life due to the nature of some of the things that have led me to overeat.

The LDS Church has produced some real world, real problem videos that are about as real as they get. There is no sugar coating addiction especially to the point where it takes over your life. The LDS Church has not sugar coated these videos either. They are raw and grateful, while there still might be a stigma around addiction in its many forms, being able to just discuss it and not be stared to address it.

So in the process of taking control of this addiction I have lost 70 pounds. I guess I think that is just a by product of me coming off my high of overeating food (and a crap load of exercise). I have hit a plateau for the weight loss. I am not particularly thrilled to have hit it but it is a sign to me that I am doing the right things to not yo-yo and put the weight back on. I have stayed within 5 pounds of my last weight loss rest stop. And yes, there are days I totally screw up but the next day or even that last meal is where I start anew. Yes there are days I still want to inject Mountain Dew Code Red straight into my veins.

It is an interesting thing when you don't weigh 367 pounds. You can do stuff. In fact you can do some crazy stuff. 

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