Monday, July 1, 2013

This should never happen!!

Last week I took my daughter to the small community of Van, TX that has the "large" population of about 4,000 people to attend a funeral for her cousin.  Her cousin took his life after getting in an argument with his girlfriend.  For reason's unknown he parked his car in front of the school building she was in taking summer classes to get ahead and he shot himself. A gift athlete, a decent student and a boy who was apparently was loved by all with a sweet spirit left this world and entered another.  Questions still abound about why a boy who was 30 days out of high school and who was ready to start playing college baseball still float in the air for my daughter and this boy's family.  By all accounts he was a good kid and I believe it.  Emotions may have just gotten the best of him after this argument with his girlfriend.  I don't even pretend to understand where this boy was at but my feelings about what happens to those who take their lives has changed significantly since I was 6 and sang at a funeral for one of my bother's friends who accidentally hung himself.  Thank Heaven for a merciful God who knows all of our circumstances and who has experienced it all for us!  

As I have had a decent amount of time to discuss this with my daughter and all 5 of my children, we have discussed that no boy or girl no matter how much we think we love them is worth killing themselves for.  This was a great reference to discuss with my children why long term dating at a young age creates weird emotions that they may not be ready to deal with.  My daughter also shared with her how this boy's sister is having problem with her ex boyfriend to the extend that stocking charges have been brought against this minor.  Dating is supposed to be a healthy thing in groups where you get to know a lot of things about a lot of people.  
A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better. In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion.  You should not date until you are at least 16 years old. When you begin dating, go with one or more additional couples. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and can perhaps lead to immorality. Invite your parents to become acquainted with those you date.  Choose to date only those who have high moral standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. Remember that a young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to protect each other’s honor and virtue. Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Go only to places where you can maintain your standards and remain close to the Spirit. Young men generally take the initiative in asking for and planning dates. Always be kind and respectful when you ask for a date or when you accept or decline one. While on a date, be courteous as you listen to others and express your own feelings.  As you enter your adult years, make dating and marriage a high priority. Seek a companion who is worthy to go to the temple to be sealed to you for time and all eternity. Marrying in the temple and creating an eternal family are essential in God’s plan of happiness.
Suicide is never, ever the answer.  I have told my children and my Scouts if those thoughts are on their mind they must come find me and talk to me first.  And one boy has.  Another boy began cutting himself unknown to me.  He has since moved and all communication I have tried to have with him has gone unanswered.

At Church yesterday I listened to these hymns and they all touched me.

The third is called God is Love and can be found here.

It is sad that this family and the friends who showed up to the funeral until there was standing room only will have to deal with this loss in their life.  I hope I never have to deal with suicide again!

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