Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Boy lead = dread???

Sometimes I sit on the fence of whether or not boy lead is successful especially when the boy absolutely checks out.  Do I let him absolutely fall on his face even though I have made efforts to reach out, offer help and he doesn't bother even communicating back to me?  Or do I short term plan for him?  This is compounded by the fact that sports and band get in the way and he may not even show up to our Team meeting he is in charge of on Wednesday.  I can only do so much.  I don't want him to think I will always save him (which was a topic recently ~ two boys stated they didn't need to worry about stuff because I would take care of it if they didn't do it).  I don't know what it is about boys age 14-15 but each of them is exactly the same.  They just check out.  And their parents help them check out.  How do I hold them accountable if they won't even do the simple things?

At times, boy lead equals dread for the adult leader.


Clarke Green said...

The dread comes from the concept that you have to hold them responsible. You don't - you need to show them how being irresponsible reflects on them.
We have to stop doing anything they're supposed to do; it's one of the most difficult things about being an adult in Scouting.
Let them fail and then start asking questions:
"What happened?"
"Do you think that you did your best here?"
"How do you plan on seeing this doesn't happen again?"
"What help do you need from me?"
"What happens when someone is repeatedly irresponsible?"
"Can you make a commitment to yourself and your fellow Scouts to step things up here?"

Fishgutts said...

Great comments. In fact we had this same conversations not but less than a month ago. So what do you do when they fail and fail and fail again especially after I "reminded" him of his responsibilities? (Is there something I do other than enact, teach and help his realize he weaknesses?) I mean it would be one thing if this young man was a bumbling idiot but he is far from it. This is also the same boy that complained when we planned things for him and all he had to do was show up. So we have since enabled him with the tools to plan and enact. Mom and Dad are noodles. What is up with 14 and 15 year old boys?

On a very selfish level, I am upset that I am now taking time away from my family to make up for the lack of planning.