Good afternoon brother. You are one of a select few that has been chosen to play a crucial role in an upcoming task of the utmost importance. Your ability to maintain the strictest of confidence about this endeavor is absolutely necessary and greatly appreciated. Should you doubt your own capacity to share the details of this opportunity with any living soul (with the exception of your wife) I ask that you discontinue reading this communication and respond to it with a simple "no." Rest assured you shall be only slightly mocked and your identity shall remain secret always. Those who are intrigued at this offer and that can maintain confidentiality may continue.
The details of this undertaking shall be revealed in the common days and weeks and will be open to some discussion by you and all other parties involved. All that the invitees need to know at present is that we shall, on a not too distant Saturday, embark upon a day of feasting and celebration of greatness of all that is Texan. It is anticipated that this journey shall last from just before dawn until after nightfall and will cover a significant amount of distance. We shall determine a date that is mutually agreeable and will travel together in a full size van. Travel costs shall be shared by our company and shall be far less than a day's wages per person. But all other expenses shall fall upon the individual. If you have no interest in this event, I ask that you discontinue reading and so indicate by responding to this message as directed above. Again, you shall not be mocked severely and none, save I, will know of your cowardice.
If you feel a tinge of interest in this activity, then please respond with a simple "yes." But before you do, you must agree to one rule: Secrecy. You must not mention a breath of this to any soul beside your wife. You must not allow her to discuss this with any living soul, including her mother. Should you hear others discussing this, you shall disavow any knowledge of such an activity and scoff at those that discuss it. You shall then inform me of the identities of the parties and they shall be replaced by another individual, perhaps one more loyal than he whom he replaces. Please make your selection known by responding to this message. You have five days commencing the date and time of this message.
P.S. Nobody needs to worry about this being a secret combination or run to bishop about weirdos trying to trick members into some ponzi scheme. I think it would be a lot of fun for a few guys to get together for a day to build up some more brotherhood and fellowship in the ward. We'll try to make it work with everyone's schedule. Van rental and gas should run about $20-25 if we can get 10 people total. If you're not interested, that's ok. Just let me know. As far as the secrecy goes, we need to keep the numbers limited and I don't want feelings getting hurt of those who are not invited for this activity. My wife has sworn to keep this a secret and I hope you and your wife can do so as well. Thanks.