Mrs. Fishgutts

My wife is an angel.  She accepted a damaged father and husband and loving my bio three kids as if they were her own.  She allowed me to father her two bio daughters and adopt one of them.  The amount of trust she has in me makes me feel good about myself.

I have never been so scared in my life.  Mrs. Fishgutts has battled palpitations for 15 years due to a weird thyroid disorder.  She has crazy attack where her heart races and nothing will stop it including drugs.  About a month ago we were on a huge group date with friends from Church and she started getting palpitations.  Her heart rate was over 200 bpm.  She was also in atrial fibrillation (afib) for 36 hours.  Drugs did not fix it.  We got an ambulance ride and a 3 day stay in the hospital.  This isn't the first time either but she came to the decision she is ready for surgical intervention.  So within the next week she will be having an ablation in the cath lab.  Of course being in the medical field, I have freaked myself out probably more than I should have.  It is one thing to do things to people as a medical professional (I was an EMT and now work in a doctors office) but it is something completely different for them to be done to someone I love.  I am fearful of doctors having to create the afib again and then frying part of her heart (2 mm site) to get this to stop.

My wife is such a wonderful person.  She takes great care of me including allowing me a lot of time to Scout.  She doesn't complain when I am not home.  She sees the purpose of Scouting.

I am fearful of being alone.