Monday, August 22, 2011

A bit about me.........

I am going to reveal a bit about me.  I have tried to keep my personal junk out of this blog but this has a bit to do with Scouting.

I have a blended family.  My wife has two children (two daughters) and I have three (two boys and a girl).  Our kids have been together for about 6 years.  They are right now 13.5 to 8 years old.  They act like they are actually brothers and sisters.  I found my wife in my ward after my divorce and a member of the Bishopric invited me over for dinner ~ probably because I looked lonely.  His wife asked me if I would ever consider dating a women with children.  I told her probably not even though my father had set a great example for me of marrying my mother who had already had my brother.  I don’t think of my brother as a half brother.  My brother is my brother.  I had to eat my words about dating and marrying a woman with children.  Anyway, our children all come in and out of our home because of visitation (my wife has primary of our two daughters and I have secondary of our other three).  I don’t think of my wife’s daughters at step children.  They are mine.  I dry their tears.  I help with homework.  I give blessings.  I will beat the boys that will come to the door asking for dates. 

My divorce/marriage was relatively nasty.  I was accused of everything from rape to murder.  I cheated on her so many times I couldn’t even tell you.  At least that is what she thought and told my parents and my Bishop each time she accused me.  She told the judge I beat her.  I beat the kids was an accusation that would live with me up until about 2 years ago.  CPS was called so many times it wasn’t even funny even as I have started a new family.  Only as the children have been able to speak, the truth has CPS stopped coming and the accusations have stopped coming.  My favorite though was that I put the youngest son in handcuffs and put him in the corner all day.  Does anyone one know of a pair of handcuffs that will fit a 6 year old boy at the time?  Scouts honor, I am innocent.

Everything being said, finding my wife Shell has been a true blessing for both families especially for kids that don’t have a great mother example in their lives.  She has spent months reading the Harry Potter series of books to them at night.  She took them to the Harry Potter midnight release.  She cooks them what they want to eat.  She dries tears.  My wife works closer to where my ex lives and goes and gets them for me during our possession time.  She lets me Scout more than she probably should.  This is the kind of woman she is.

Anyway, on to the Scouting portion of this post.  My son is dual registered in my ex’s Ward Troop and registered in my Ward’s Troop as well.  I did this to make sure no matter where he was he could be working on Scouting and if one Troop failed another could pick up the slack.  He is now almost 13 and he is only a Tenderfoot due to my son’s other ward not having such a great Scouting program.  In two months with our Troop he has done more to advance than in 1 year with his other Troop.  I have volunteered to serve on the Scout Committee in her ward, do Board of Reviews in her ward, etc. and they won’t use me.  In fact, they won’t even use my ex wife.  He said to the Bishopric of my ward after going to Scout Camp with my Ward’s Troop that he wanted to go to Scouts in my ward.  My ex would have none of that.  But my son sees the benefits of a program that is actually working.

3 weeks ago during my summer possession he told me he had a Court of Honor in his other ward and wanted to go.  I didn’t………….but like a good dad I piled the family in my car, with my Scout uniform on and took him.  My ex didn’t even show up.  He now has a Court of Honor for the awards he earned at Scout Camp in my Ward this Wednesday and my ex won’t bring him.  So I told him I would come and get him.  We are in different Stakes but literally live 11 miles apart.  He is going to have to pin only one of his mothers with their Tenderfoot Mother’s Pin. 

This morning I went to the first day of school for two of the youngest and the youngest told me when his brother asked to go to the Court of Honor, his mother started yelling at him.  So much so that she said she felt bad for her old brother that his Mom was yelling at him. 

I am so upset.  Scouting is a good thing.  Scouting is a wholesome thing.; it is fun, builds character, is leadership oriented, mission preparation, etc.  Scouting teaches character, leadership and a good work ethic.  It teaches their duty to the country, their family and their spiritual responsibility. Any parent should be glad to have a boy in the program and push them out the door to help get them there!!!

And she is working against all of that.  Instead of being an active parent, she has decided the easy path is the right path.  My heart aches.

My heart would ache if this were one of my Scouts.  Parents shouldn’t fight against the “good” in life.

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